Just a Theory
by Saint Sayaka
Summary: When Vaike tries to convince Miriel to try something "new", just how far will she take it? Rated T for implied - but not described - sex.


AN) At first, I tried to make this story serious. Then I realized I was writing about what was essentially Vaike popping a ton of boners. So I stopped. Thanks to OTP Prompts on Tumblr for the following prompt: "Person A has magic and Person B gets turned on whenever A uses their powers."

Also, quick guide to speaking like Miriel. 1) Get normal word. 2) Put normal word in Dictionary. com's Thesaurus. Choose one of the most - but not _the_ most - obscure results. 3) ? 4) Profit

* * *

"I do not understand the reasoning behind this action, husband."

Vaike's fingers ran through the bedsheets faster than a Risen could decompose, hoping to find an excuse somewhere in the wool. Their tent fluttered slightly in the midnight breeze. "It's, uh, fun to watch! There's nothin' much to it than that."

In truth, there _was_ a lot more to it. He had chalked it up to pure, mortifying coincidence the first time he watched Miriel activate a tome that subsequently activated his lower region. A few years with the Shepherds and a wedding ring later, though, he was fairly certain something about his wife's magical deftness got his Teach "teaching". Maybe it was the gentle, motherly crunching of long-worn pages followed by an all-consuming blast of power. Nonetheless, he found that his secret kink was awkward to divulge. What with Miriel's captivation with research, how long would it take her to reach the conclusion that all spell users commanded her husband's waning flaccidity? Worse yet, how could he convince her otherwise, even if it wasn't true? He bit his tongue.

Miriel adjusted her glasses, careful to balance her opened Fire on a naked hip as she did so. Their home was silent but for the crackling of their carefully built firepit (Chrom denounced it as a fire hazard, and Miriel had been containing the flame with her magic in secret ever since) and a wind that could not be stifled by the leather walls. "Fascinating. Your interest in my magical dexterities are spurred on by a simple enjoyment principle?"

"It's more than…whatever ya just said."

"Are you perhaps suggesting that you are affected merely by the thought of a pleasurable stimulus before it is put into effect? Said stimulus being the application of this Fire tome to our hearth?"

Being a fairly placid family man, Vaike pretended to agree.

Still naked as the day she born, Miriel abandoned her position at the makeshift bed's mast. Vaike watched as he juggled between interest and disappointment. She promptly dropped into a hard wood chair, grabbing a sheet of parchment and assuming the poise of a therapist.

"This is a phenomena worthy of further consideration. Perhaps another study of my mother's book will reveal a unanimous truth. Hm."

Vaike ignored Miriel's insistence on bringing her mother into their bedroom sphere. Not only was it a shockingly common occurrence, there just wasn't much use in talking down Miriel when her head was so intertwined with studies. "Though", he muttered uncomfortably as he threw a sheet over his now less remarkable nether regions, "this couldn'a come at a worse time…"

He was determined to get some sleep and leave his wife to her scholarly whims when thin fingers took a hold of his left shoulder. Slightly roused, Vaike grumbled slightly and turned to his immediate left. Miriel stared down at him, an impressive check list in one hand and the Fire tome in the other. "Husband?" she inquired.

"Mhm?"

"I have devised an impeccable hypothesis and means of verification for the intriguing phenomena you had presented to me. I now beseech for your assistance so I may calculate the consequent results."

He blinked. "…does this mean you're gonna have sex with me?"

"Crude terminology, but yes. We will commence with procreation in four sets of testing conditions. In one, I will use a Fire tome. In another, a Thunder. The third, for the test's equilibrium, will use no tome…"

"Question. Are ya planning to do this all tonight?"

Miriel stared blankly. "Yes, that was the design of my proposal. A respectable experiment is practiced many times for optimal results. Unless you harbor any demurrals?"

"Harbors are for ships! The Vaike couldn't be more ready!"

Rubbing the wax out of his ears, Chrom briefly wondered about the sudden thunderstorms overtaking the campgrounds before drifting back to sleep.


End file.
